I think I need to be less friendly. Someone knocked on the door of the bathroom I was just in, and my immediate response was, “Come on in!”

It was on the way to my mouth when I realized, You can’t say that! They’ll come in! So I thought, Just keep yer trap shut.

And then I realized, You can’t do that! They’ll come in! But then I couldn’t remember what you were supposed to say when you were in the bathroom and didn’t want someone else coming in. And then I started to panic because, while I was sorting this all through, enough time had passed that they probably would have assumed it was unoccupied. And thinking about that kept me from remembering what I was supposed to say, which just made me panic more.

It was an awkward moment for me. In the end, I settled on “Taken!” and finished my business all by me onesies. Just in case it happens again, though, I’m going to start practicing being an asshole.