Dear Discovery Channel,

I was pretty excited when I heard about Stunt Junkies, a glee I surely shared with most of my base demographic (the coveted 18-35 male, hereinafter “Guys”). Who DOESN’T want to see someone ride a skateboard at 100 MPH, or reverse-bungie into a base jump?

I know I do. You know what I don’t want to see, though? The stunt explained EIGHTEEN FUCKING TIMES before the guy actually does it. I know it’s dangerous - it’s trying to ride a bike off a ramp toward a helicopter - so you really don’t need to spend 10 minutes explaining why he could die. The hosts don’t need to waste another ten minutes explaining the stunt to each other (honestly, do they have ANY short-term memory? It seems like the young guy explains it all to the old guy [who apparently just shows up at work entirely clueless], and then the old guy explains it back. Over and over.)

I’ll tell you what: take the last two minutes of each episode, string them together into a half-hour show, and air it every night. I’ll watch it three, maybe four times every week. And you know what? So will the rest of the Guys.

Heart, Brock

PS: The short guy with the blonde hair? He’s an asshat. What happened to the bald fella?