Just so we’re all on the same page:

Facebook has implemented new features. These new features quickly tell you what updates your friends have made lately.

Everyone is freaking out about it.

In a matter of six hours, I’ve become so tired of hearing about and being invited to groups condemning it that I’m ready to forego the “Poke” feature in favor of the “Punch In The Neck Even If It Means Driving Nine Hours To Your House” feature.

Seriously, if you’re that worked up about it, DON’T USE THE SITE. The collective sense of my generation would make me weep for our future, if I were the weepy type, or if I thought it had a chance in the first place.