Tonight, I am a low-grade hero.

Tonight, I fixed our couch to prevent scrapes, cuts, tetanus, and other owie boo-boos.

You see, we currently have FN’s ancient ugly green feather couch, which is incredibly comfortable, but just as dangerous. It has these metal strips with nails along the bottom to hold the fabric to the couch. One of them had been bent and poking out for as long as I’ve known the couch personally. It wasn’t a problem, unless you walked close by, or sat in it, or looked at it, or drove through the same area code. Like many others before me, I’ve cut my foot pretty good on it a few times.

This morning, when it put a huge hole in one of my socks, I vowed to fix it once and for all. Lucky for me, Fonny is a real man, so he owns a hammer. I pried the thing off, saving several (dozens, even!) of other people from a similar fate.

You should give me money for making everyones’ lives so much better.