My mind doesn’t wander so much as sprint madly around my subconscious with blind, reckless abandon.

If I’m lucky, this leads me to happy thoughts, which lead to further happy thoughts, which make it easy to sleep.

If I’m unlucky, it leads me to a memory of some minor perceived slight against me earlier in the day. This generally leads to memories of further transgressions of the offending party, leaving me pissed off at someone with no good reason.

More often than either, though, it leads me to some distant, almost-forgotten memory of on of my own inadvertent foot-in-mouth comments, which inevitably leads me to every other offensive thing I’ve said or done in my entire life, leaving me feeling like a total asshole.

Tonight, it was the last of the three, but it was quickly averted when I tried to find a clever way to use both transgression and slight in the same paragraph.