Kottke’s learning to cook, and I wish him luck. I’ve been living in the apartment for nine months now, and I haven’t gotten very far. This is all I know about cooking - feel free to enlighten me.

Get a Foreman grill. Sorry, Jason - a frying pan won’t ever make a decent burger. It’s also good for hot dogs and grilled cheese.

Never make pancakes without eggs. Buy pancake mix that calls for eggs. The “just add water” stuff isn’t fluffy enough. I recommend Jiffy Corn Muffin mix - there are pancake directions on the side, and they’re the best I’ve had yet.

Boil water, THEN add pasta. I always figured I could toss the pasta into cold water, crank the heat, and leave it. Turns out, it’s a lot quicker to boil it first and then add the noodles. Adding some salt will keep it from boiling over, and a little oil keeps the noodles from clumping.

“Pre-heating” is a tool of The Man too keep down the proletariat. Don’t bother pre-heating. I turn the over on, toss the food in, and add a minute or two to the time. Works out fine every time.

Pizza dough sucks. That shit just won’t cooperate. Call Dominos.